Friday, July 4, 2008

My Love Affair With the Ladies - Part 1

I've always had a thing for the opposite sex. I don't know why and I don't try to explain it - it's just there.
My story is perhaps a bit unusual, but it's mine and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I remember my first girlfriend well. I was 3. Marianne Kramer was her name. We lived on the same street, so we had something in common right off the bat. Well, she was 3, too. She lived at the other end of the street and I can remember walking down there with my mom, playing at their house and then walking back home. Sometimes, we'd walk down the street together hand in hand. I don't think we said much - I certainly wasn't much of a talker in those days, as you'll see.
The next girl that I remember in my life was in fact a real lady and she was my first grade teacher - Mrs. Normoyle. Wow, what a looker! She was native American and I thought she was pretty exotic. She had long straight black hair and a pretty smile - quite unlike anyone I'd ever seen before and I was soon captivated. Even though I was a good student I can recall having 'problems' that needed her attention as often as I could create such 'problems'. As she would talk to me I would simply be happy to have her near me for the moment. I don't remember much else about grade one.
In grade three, cupid struck again, this time sending me a fair-haired maiden by the name of Kelly Farrell. I found myself being paired with her quite often for activities and walks, and a little hand-holding ensued. I remember going to her birthday party and feeling quite out of place. We shared a love of music and I can remember my first foible as a young gentleman - a challenge. We were both a little competitive and each of us thought we knew more music than the other, so we took it upon ourselves to write down as many song titles as we knew at the time. I believe I got to about 118 and won the competition, but I also remember a distance opening up between us. And, sadly, I can still feel that my ungentlemanly ego is what got in the way.
As a shy little boy I didn't really socialize too much with that many of the other kids. I preferred to have a friend or two at a time or just watch the girls. I watched them jump rope so much that I was one of the only boys invited to join in. I felt a little special, somewhat honoured and definitely sneaky about using my simple charms on the girls.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

An Apology

Before beginning to post on various topics, there is one more thing that I must do on behalf of all men, whether they share my feeling of responsibility or not, and that is to apologize.

peace lily

I am sorry that any man has ever raped a woman.
I am sorry that any man has forced women into roles other than that of woman.
I am sorry that man has created a world where we have to now fight just to survive.
I am sorry for tall buildings where they could be red tents.
I am sorry for witch burnings and misdirected hate.
I am sorry for all the Mary's who have gone unacknowledged and unknown.
I am so very sorry.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Ladies and Aspiring Gentlemen

Good Evening and Welcome.

It is my pleasure to be speaking with you about one of my favourite subjects: Ladies.
It is also with humble words that I am going to impart to the men in the audience the reasons why we should be treating our Ladies with more respect, admiration, fascination and earned equality than we've ever seen. The corollary to that is, of course, how to go about doing it.

Believe me - this is one of the foremost subjects both requiring and lacking attention in today's modern world, but it is sadly underaddressed.
Therefore, a modern voice is needed to address the males in the audience in an effort to bring about an insightful view on choices we can make so that we evolve in ways that are currently lacking.
I will be touching on many issues that are affected by man's actions and his interactions with women - from manner and etiquette to sexual pleasure and responsibilities. Nothing is or should be taboo in consideration of a saner, more peaceful and more pleasurable world.

The half of the population that is directly responsible for bearing the other half's existence deserves no less.

I lead by example and challenge you to do the same so that I can call more of my brothers gentlemen and see more of my sisters live safe and happy lives each and every day.

Gentlemen, take your mark . . .